CEO – Chief Embezzlement Officer
CFO – Corporate Fraud Officer
Broker – What my broker has made me!
Stock Analyst – Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
Value Investing – The art of buying low and selling lower.
Standard & Poor – Your life in a nutshell
Stock Split – When ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
Market Correction – The day after you put all your money in stocks.
Bull Market – A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
Bear Market – A 6 – 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
Profit – An archaic word no longer in use.
P/E Ratio – Percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market crashes.
Cash Flow – Movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
Yahoo! – What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
Windows – What you jump out of when you’re the sucker.
| AAAMP Blog by Ken Faulkenberry | |
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Ken Faulkenberry earned an MBA from the University of Southern California (USC) Marshall School of Business with an emphasis in investments. Ken has 25 years of investment experience and is dedicated to helping people with self-directed investment management through the Arbor Investment Planner. His asset allocation strategies have an outstanding performance record. |
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