Investment Humor

New Stock Market Terms (Investment Humor)

April 17, 2010

CEO – Chief Embezzlement Officer   CFO – Corporate Fraud Officer   Broker – What my broker has made me!   Stock Analyst – Idiot who just downgraded your stock.   Value Investing – The art of buying low and selling lower.   Standard & Poor – Your life in a nutshell   Stock Split [...]

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Weekend Stock Market Report (Humor)

February 6, 2010

Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Fluorescent tubing dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Cows steered into a bull market. Pencils lost a few points. Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued in slow decline. Weights were up in heavy trading. Light switches were off. Mining Stocks hit [...]

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The Economy Is So Bad…….

December 13, 2009

  The economy is so bad if the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds” you don’t know if they mean you or them.   The economy is so bad Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressman.   The economy is so bad Motel Six won’t leave the lights on anymore.   The economy is so bad [...]

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