CEO – Chief Embezzlement Officer
CFO – Corporate Fraud Officer
Broker – What my broker has made me!
Stock Analyst – Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
Value Investing – The art of buying low and selling lower.
Standard & Poor – Your life in a nutshell
Stock Split – When ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
Market [...]
Entries Tagged as 'Investment Humor'
New Stock Market Terms (Investment Humor)
April 17th, 2010 · No Comments · Investment Humor
Tags: clean humor·funny humor·Humor·humor on·investing·investing humor·Investment Humor·money humor
Weekend Stock Market Report (Humor)
February 6th, 2010 · 2 Comments · Investment Humor
Helium was up, feathers were down.
Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.
Cows steered into a bull market.
Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued in slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining Stocks hit rock bottom.
Diapers remained unchanged.
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
The [...]
Tags: clean humor·funny humor·Humor·humor on·investing·investing humor·Investment Humor·stock market humor
The Economy Is So Bad…….
December 13th, 2009 · No Comments · Investment Humor
The economy is so bad if the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds” you don’t know if they mean you or them.
The economy is so bad Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressman.
The economy is so bad Motel Six won’t leave the lights on anymore.
The economy is so bad parents in Beverly Hill fired their nannies [...]
